Why Should You Have Your Own, Personal Wedding Vows?
We all think of weddings as special, and your wedding is a unique event for you, even if it is one wedding among millions of others. But what gives your wedding meaning?
Your wedding vows are the dramatic centrepiece of your wedding, because they provide the focus for your celebration and they should summarise the significance of your wedding, as a personal promise to one another, witnessed by your guests.
Writing your own wedding vows can be challenging, but the reward is that you can channel all the emotion of your wedding day into a public declaration of your mutual love and commitment that is uniquely personal to you as a couple.
What are Wedding Vows For?
Weddings combine the personal with the public. They are an outward display of intimacy, presented as both ritual and celebration. The wedding vows are at the heart of the wedding, marking the pivotal point between the build-up and ceremony and the celebrations that come after.
Wedding vows are the true source of your wedding ceremony’s emotional impact, and if you choose to write your own, then you are putting your own, heartfelt emotion into the heart of things.
As a wedding filmmaker, I’m looking for the key elements to help tell your wedding story. The wedding vows sit at the centre of this narrative. They are the culmination of all the preparation and the emotional build-up. In filmmaking terms, they are a summation and explanation of the whole plot, the reason for it all.
How to Write Your Own Vows
Think of how you’re combining the personal with the public, of how you want to give your wedding vows a special quality unique to you, but in a context where they’ll be understood and appreciated by everyone attending your ceremony.
Talk about them together, you and your partner. Think about what has brought you to this point, your shared memories.
Then think about the future. A wedding is a way of marking a milestone in your relationship, but it is also about looking ahead, to what comes next.
Your vows should capture a sense of where you have got to now, but also how you will build a future together. This is what gives your wedding its true meaning, because it celebrates what you are and what you will become.
Please note, this doesn’t mean your vows must be very solemn. They should reflect your personality so inject humour where relevant, but don’t be tempted to make them one extended joke: your wedding vows are not like a best man’s speech.
Think about how long they will be – remembering those disastrous Oscar-acceptance speeches that go on too long and wander off the point. But also think in terms of both sets of vows: if one person’s vows are short and sweet but the other’s vows are lengthy and dramatic, then the whole thing will seem unbalanced.
In the end it’s about tone, feeling and impact. When in doubt, keep your vows simple but relevant to your relationship.
My name’s Paul and I run In Love Wedding Films. We film weddings across Manchester and the North West. As a seasoned filmmaker and wedding videographer, I know that wedding vows are a key moment in a wedding story. Plan and write yours and I’ll capture the moment on film, as the emotional core of your wedding.